Upset, pleasantly surprised, then WOO-HOO!

That was my Saturday with the scale.

When I first got up, I had a place to be, so I quickly jumped on the scale. It said 264.3. What the heck? Down .4 since last week? With an average calorie deficit of nearly 2000? Didn't make sense.

Anyway, I took off for a couple of hours, and being busy, I didn't eat anything. When I got back home, I got back on the scale. 261.7. MUCH better! That made 2.9 down from last week. It actually close to matches the calorie deficit. That is what I used for my official weigh-in for the week.

I ate a small breakfast, and then went to mow my lawn.

Afterwards, I took a shower, and just for fun, jumped on the scale again. 259.9 Hence the woo-hoo.

Yesterday morning I was still at 259.9. Making a total of 40.1 pounds down since mid February.

Did more physical therapy this morning. It was good. I'm getting WAY more flexible than I had thought possible in a very short amount of time. I'm not as out of shape as I had thought.

Also, the grinding noise in my knees (the left one in particular) is noticeably less than even a week ago.

Hopefully on Wednesday I can get some good shoe recommendations from the PT, and find out when I can start the running again.

So good news for the day. That makes it even easier to stick with the plan

Moving forward...

-Silas

More therapy this morning

It's only been two days since the first appointment with the physical therapy office for my knees, but I have actually done all of the exercises that they have asked me to do. The PT is a runner/triathlete, and his office specializes in helping athletes, so this looks like the right place to go for me.

Here is my official diagnosis: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chondromalacia_patellae

"Chondro" meaning cartilage, "malacia" meaning malady, or sickness, and patellae, meaning under the kneecap.

The bad news is that the PT has told me not to run for now, that we'll ease back into it, but for now, to not run. The good news is that Chondromalacia Patallae is apparently 100% reversible. Which is news to me, who thought that my knees were pretty much just shot forever.

Walking is just fine, so last night while my wife and the older kids were at a school function, I took our youngest to the gym. We have some pre-paid babysitting there, so I dropped him off for 45 minutes. (I wanted to go longer, but they were closing). I did three miles on the track, walking rather quickly. It was fun, but I realized something last night.

I absolutely love to run.

No, really! I do! I was walking along, and I just wanted to break into the slow, plodding jog that I like to call running. I missed it, SERIOUSLY missed it for the first time in a few years now.

There was a time about 6 years ago that I was very seriously into running. Enough that I actually started to train for a marathon. I had lost all of my weight - down to 203.5, I think, but then had gained back about 25 or more. So I thought that training for the marathon was a great way to get back down. And in reality, it was a good idea.

However, I got my training program from the wrong location. There's a neighbor of mine who runs tons of marathons. She is one of those people that would probably blow away if I sneezed too hard. She's not any sort of fitness person - no knowledge other than that she does work on staying in shape and she runs a lot of marathons.

The problem is not, I think, that I was marathon training. The problem was that I was doing the same thing that a VERY tiny woman was doing, and it wasn't good for my knees.

It was after a 14 mile run that I think that I first started having knee pain. I was pushing. And I overdid it.

To be honest, I think that might be when the crunchy-grinding noises in my knees started as well. It makes sense.

Time to stop rambling...

Anyway, I may never be a marathon runner, but I WILL get back into running.

What I will also do is to start thinking about/training for a triathlon. Because smaller/shorter runs, with biking and swimming...

Now THAT I can do.

-Silas

Did it work? DID IT???

After leaving the restaurant with my co-workers yesterday, I was feeling very good about how I had done. It seemed that I had really been able to keep to my plan. I also did my best at estimating the calories in the food that I ate. I am not 100% sure how many calories it was, but I really felt that I was pretty close.

How close was I? Well, I may never really know, but I DO know that I was down yet another pound this morning. Today's weight was 262.6.

So close enough for me.

Heading to the physical therapist this morning, we'll see how that goes. I can't believe I didn't bring my running shoes - I hope that they can do the evaluation without them.

Anyway, hope it's a good day.

-Silas

ETA: Also - new blog layout. :)

Doctors, and more work food.

I forgot to mention that I went to visit the orthopedist yesterday. He gave me some VERY good news. I had thought that the crunchy/grinding noise in my knees was on account of my cartilage being gone. Turns out that's not the case - it may not be the healthiest of cartilage, but it's there. I'm going to see another physical therapist about my knees - a guy who specializes in helping athletes. He's going to do a "gait study" to see how I run to help me correct any problems, as well as give me exercises to help strengthen my knees. He will also recommend some shoes. At this point, I'm not sure I care how much the shoes cost - if the shoes allow me to keep running, and I can lose the rest of the 53 pounds that I need gone, it will be worth every penny.

So I can keep running. Last night I got on my treadmill and did 4 miles. Not running yet, mind you. I walked/very QUICKLY walked, but I didn't want to pound on my knees until I get some help. I'm relieved about this. I may never be a marathoner - I am fairly sure that my knees will probably not support that - I am going to start getting into triathlons, I think. The orthopedist said that swimming and biking would be very good to do as well, so I will get into it.

About work food - here at work, we've had this massive project that we have had to get shipped out (I work for a Software company - I'm a professional geek). It took some work, and the team as a whole performed spectacularly. So our boss is taking us all out for lunch today at a Brazilian Grill. One of those places that, if you are not careful, can put you into a MEAT COMA. Basically, you go in, and they keep bringing you out different kinds of roasted meat until you can't stand any more.

 Lovely.

What am I going to do about it? Well, to start, I went to the gym already this morning. Turns out I swim slowly, but I can do it indefinitely, or so it felt. I swam for 90 minutes. It was over a mile and a half. According to my fitness website, I burned almost 1400 calories. That excites me. I feel it, too. I'm pretty much exhausted. But in a good way.

Also - the very first thing I am going to do when I get in there is to eat an ENORMOUS plate of salad. I can fill up a very large amount of my stomach with lettuce and vegetables, and a low-fat mustard based dressing that they have, for under 300 calories. I seriously plan to do that.

And then I'm going to eat some of the meat. I will skip the bacon wrapped stuff. There is a possibility that I will consume 1000 calories of meat. But I am going to stop myself before I gorge. I just won't do it. After three pieces of meat, I'm going to go back for a small salad again, if I'm still hungry. And frankly, I can't pass up the grilled pineapple. :) But at the end of today, I plan to have at least a 2000 calorie deficit. This can be done. It will be done.

Why? Because right now, for whatever reason, it is more worth it to me to NOT eat the food. I was not mortified when I jumped in the pool today. Yes, I'm overweight. (Technically still obese, but even at goal, I'll be classified as overweight by the idiotic BMI scale) But I know how far I've come. This morning's weigh-in was 263.6. WAY better than 300.

So while there is another obstacle to overcome, I have planned for it, and I will overcome.

 -Silas

Ups and downs over a weekend

There was a lot of good and bad about this past weekend. While it all ended up quite well, it did show me how much I still have to work on things, most especially my relationship with food.

 To start off: official weigh-in was 264.6. Making 35.4 pounds down since February 22, and a total of exactly 70 pounds down since my highest ever weight. It is also 4.4 pounds down since last week's official weigh-in.

 The bad? Well, a couple of months ago, our kids brought home a fund-raiser from school. It was tubs of cookie dough. Basically, all weekend long there were cookies in my house. THAT REALLY SUCKED, as I appear to really love cookies. Somehow, they magically found their way into my mouth...

 OK, all joking aside, I did make the choice, every single time, to eat the cookies. I didn't gorge. I didn't binge. But I also ate more than I know that I should.

 And really, I did well, all things considered. I ended the weekend with a calorie deficit for each day - 2,124 calorie deficit on Friday, 2,713 deficit on Saturday, and 1,568 deficit on Sunday. But it could, and SHOULD have been better.

 Why am I freaking out over some cookies? Because it's not just the cookies. It's the indication of the larger issue that I have with food - I know where I go when I allow myself to cheat without accountability. And that place is not pretty.

 That place is stopping at the grocery store in the morning, picking up three donuts, two bags of chips (well, one is pretzels, and those are healthy, RIGHT???), 4-5 20 oz bottles of full-sugar soda, and something sweet to much on after "breakfast." For lunch, it's chinese food. Or a burger and fries. Or...

 You see where that place is? I can go on. I know I have issues with food. I really do. I just don't want to go there. The ONLY way to keep myself from that place is to stay accountable right now - each and every day, and when weekends with too many cookies happen, I have to ratchet up the guards for the next few days, make correct and purposeful choices again, and get right back on track. IMMEDIATELY. So here I am. 

What really kind of saved this weekend was strapping my 35 pound toddler to my back (we've got a backpack built for carrying small children) and hiking around my neighborhood. I did 3 miles or so on Thursday, a mile on Friday, 4 and a half on Saturday, and three more on Sunday. All walking, but it was good. Yesterday's calorie deficit would have been significantly smaller had I not burned those 500 calories during that hour.

 Also, we bought a trampoline on Saturday. Putting that dang thing together took three hours, and you take more steps than you'd expect when assembling one of those. Add to that mowing the lawn in the heat, and the deficit was big, even with the cookies.

 Anyway, Friday's obstacle course at work was just fine. It turns out the big obstacle was at home. It did slow me a little, but I'm not in this race to beat anyone - just to get to the destination.

 And more than ever, that destination is in sight.

 -Silas

Obstacle course

Today should be interesting. We're having a different kind of day at work. Over the past 24 hours, anyone who was interested has created a team and worked on a small project - something that they thought might be useful for the company. Well, of COURSE they are going to have to bring in crappy food.

It's so funny how there are two diametrically opposed forces in the company - one that keeps wanting to bring in really bad things to eat, and the other side that does things like pay for a subscription to a website that helps to keep track of my calories.

Anyway, it's interesting, because yesterday, for the first time in a few weeks now, I sort of wanted to hang the whole weight loss thing up. Not go nuts and eat everything in sight, but to just stop paying attention to what I was eating. Yep, the cravings have returned.

I did well - I kept to what I wanted to eat, but in thinking about what I was craving, it really did occur to me how fast empty calories can really add up.

So yes, there are obstacles put up all over the place today, but I can overcome them. I am stronger than a craving, I am more than just a receptacle for food.

What makes it all worth it is that I am now wearing shorts that are two sizes smaller than when I started two months ago. And the pants that were two sizes larger did not fit back then - they were too small.

Hard? Yes. Worth it? I'd say so.

-Silas

Thank goodness for bleu cheese.

That vile substance kept me from eating cafeteria food this afternoon. It was befouling the potatoes.

Last night I strapped my three-and-a-half-year-old son to my back (in a backpack carrier) and basically hiked around my neighborhood for about three and a half miles. He's a skinny kid, so he only weighs about 35 pounds. It hit me about half an hour into the walk, just chatting with my son about every little thing on his mind, that he weighs about what I have lost.

Kinda eye-opening.

So needless to say I hit my calorie burn yesterday.

I ended up burning 3,876 calories, and I had consumed 1,447. Total deficit for the say of 2,429 calories. My average for the month of April is 2,175 calories.

I like information.

-Silas

A new low.

Total down since February 22: 33.9

It's interesting...I've been going up and down between the mid 280s and mid 290s for so long - probably two or three years now. I even had a stint all the way up over 310, I think. Finally getting back down to 266.1 is exhilarating.

My highest of the highs was 336.4. That means that I'm officially back down over 70 pounds from that. Quite excited about that.

All the work is paying off. All of the times that I am NOT eating that candy bar, NOT doing the donuts with co-workers, NOT overeating when we finally order pizza...

It's paying off. Woo!

-Silas

One more day closer...

Currently there are 55 days left until the our trip, and I'm doing well. Last week's official weigh-in was 269, but this morning I was at 267.4, which was even further down from the lowest last week. This is a good thing.

My knee is feeling rather good this morning. It has all weekend long. I think I'll strap my knee braces on (the kind that are supposed to keep your kneecap in place) and try a SHORT run this evening. My daughter wants to do it as well, so I'm going to attempt it.

I'm still going to the doc's office next week, but since it's doing well, I'm going to try to see if I can ease back into some good exercise.

Part of my problem is that I know that I usually push myself too hard. I need to stop that, and just keep to the slow, easy, short runs until I can get things worked out.

So - according to my spreadsheet, I'm right on track for being at about 235 or so when I get on the plane. I can SERIOUSLY handle that.

I've been thinking more and more about the actual trip, as well. I am not going to try to lose weight in Hawaii. I just am not. But I am also hoping not to gain a ton. And while I do intend to eat some good food, I am becoming more and more certain that I will be different on vacation than I would have.

For instance - I really do not think that I am going to drink any calories. In the past, I would have gone for shakes/smoothies/soda/etc. (I'm a teetotaler, so no alcohol either way...) But it's coming to the point where such things just aren't worth it. I am going to try to embody the phrase that I've always liked to say - I can eat anything that I want to, just not everything.

We'll see how the mindset is there in Hawaii, but it's looking good for now. What I want to come back to is no more than 30 pounds until goal. If I can keep from gaining more than 5 pounds on the trip, I will be right where I want to be.

With all of the walking/hiking/swimming/snorkeling I intend to do, I think I will be fine.

-Silas

That awkward moment...

...when you get to the Doctor's office, even a little early, and the receptionist tells you that you are a week early...

DO'H!

So the doctor's office didn't happen yesterday. Silver lining? I get to lose a little more weight before they weigh me!

The knee is actually doing significantly better than it was. I was wearing a knee brace that keeps the kneecap in place, but in retrospect, I think it is meant to be worn only during exercise, and not all the time. I think it made the swelling and pain worse.

I'm still quite worried about it, so I have made an appointment with an orthopedic specialist. It's in two weeks. Until then, I'm going to take running out of the lineup. I think (with how it's feeling right now) that I will continue to walk, because it doesn't pound the knees. And I'm going to get back into the lap pool as well. That should give me enough exercise to keep doing well.

The bummer is the couch to 5K with my daughter - that has completely stalled out. I will have to find something else to do with her. She might like swimming laps! I'll ask.

Total calorie deficit since the end of February: 108,381.

-Silas

FINALLY.

So I was hoping to hit this milestone before my birthday, but last week my weight was STUBBORN! It was a very mini plateau, but I've finally broken through!

Weight this morning was 268.1.

It's a good place to be right now.

Heading to the doctor's office in a few minutes. (Regular checkup, and I'm asking about my knee pain.) Since the last time I went in August, I'm down over 30 pounds. Since I wasn't really weighing myself then, it might actually be closer to 40. Wonder if they will notice? ;)

It's a good day.

-Silas

Still here...

So I've been a prodigal blogger, but still working the weight loss. This morning I was down to 270.1. I was HOPING to be in the 260's by last Friday, but alas, 'twas not to be!

I am not complaining, mind you. There was a birthday celebration in there. (I had a deficit of 2758 calories on my BIRTHDAY.

Right now I'm on track to be at 229.85 pounds when I leave for my vacation.

The bad news...I'm having some significant knee pain. I'm going to have to put the running on hold until I get this worked out. If this turns out badly, I'm going to be SERIOUSLY PISSED OFF.

The deal is, though, that it seems like the big issue with me is food. If I can keep my food under control, I can lose the weight. So food is going to be my focus for the near future.

Time to get back to work...

-Silas

Good weekend, feeling good.

The past couple of weeks has been freakishly busy around the Crutherton household - and yet my weight has gone down. The official weigh-in on Saturday kept my low as 273.6, which is fantastic - 26.4 pounds down in 5 weeks. Can you say "right on schedule"?

The one thing that has fallen by the wayside, what with a road trip and general busyness is exercise. I haven't been working out, and my calorie burn shows it.

Well, tonight we're getting back into it. My daughter and I are going to start the running again, starting Week 2 over again. If it's too tough for her, maybe we'll even backtrack, but regardless, it's back to the gym!

Here's to a good day...

-Silas