Aaaaand...why not.

I know I'm an errant blogger. But it's hard to maintain a weight loss blog (see my clever word play???) when you are steadily gaining weight.

Well, thanks to my cousin, I'm a part of a nice friendly Biggest Loser challenge! I sent her $20, along with I don't know how many others, and the top three will split the money in some as-yet-to-be-determined fashion.

It's not about winning right now. It was worth the $20 to be motivated.

Last week's weigh-in (Wednesday) was 298.5. This morning I was at 293.1. Down 5.4 in 5 days? I will take it. I will take it and run with it.

You know, I was worried about my weigh-in after the holidays. I lost weight over Christmas (not much, but a tiny bit), regardless of my concerted efforts to the contrary. Truly, I did NOT do well over the holidays. But SOMEHOW, I was down a tiny bit, like half a pound or something.

I was worried that it was an anomaly.

Not any more. Right now I'm just going to thank my lucky stars, and RUN WITH IT.

OK, not literally RUN, not just yet, but maybe a brisk walk on the treadmill?

-Silas

Here we go a'blogging!

Just stopping in to post today, mostly because I want to keep in the habit. Slept in today, didn't yet make it to the gym. I really have to get back into the habit! It's weird - when I'm in habits, they're easy. I just do them. I wake up on time. I get my stuff ready the night before. Everything just falls into place, and I find myself scanning my card!

So here's to getting back into the habit. Working on it, folks. Working on it.

And just when I thought all was lost...

Here it is!

I somehow forgot that I even had this blog. Yes, my last post was a little hissy-fit kind of post, but I was cranky. Or at least, I think so. It was two years ago, you know.

So I am in serious need of getting back into some mojo. I went looking for my old journalspace blog - the old silas crutherton blog...and lo and behold, it turns out that the guys running journalspace are a bunch of morons, and it's a good thing that I wasn't there when all of the crap went down!

Regardless, I somehow remembered blogger, typed in the URL, and TWO YEARS LATER it remembered me! Holy crap...

Anyway, I'm back, head hanging low...after gaining about half a pound a week for two years, it does that to you.

But it doesn't matter where I have been - only where I am going. I do know that I haven't been pointed in the correct direction for a couple of years now. So it's about time to turn things around. Mojo is back.

I went to the gym yesterday for the first time in a while. Good news is that I had a good time. Bad news is that my heel is being extra stupid. Still, it was a good thing.

Good news about the heel thing - it is just a skin cracking thing, not an internal thing. Some sort of salve should do the trick, and I'll be back on my feet (hehe!) in no time. Tomorrow, in fact.

I've also started a video blog. At least, I've started recording myself while driving to and/or from work. I have a few videos, but I'm not sure what to do with them yet. I doubt blogger has a place for them (but I will poke around a bit!), and I'm wary of youtube. Either way, though, it will be a good thing to keep a video record of how I am doing.

What the heck! There's the little "Add Video" button up there! Looks like I may be in business after all...

Anyway I will be back soon. Time to get things going.

FYI and Where's My Mojo?

The last post that I put here was about losing my interest in blogging. That's the biggest reason that I moved.

http://blogs.weightwatchen.com/silascrutherton

I like blogger, but there is no sense of community for me.

There is a sense of community at weightwatchen. I got more comments in two days than in almost three months of blogger.

It's the format over there - it's a COMMUNITY, not just a blog place.

Anyway, my Blog Mojo is back, just not here.

-Silas

Eh.

Sorry for the lack of posts yesterday and today. I have lost motivation. To blog, that is. The diet/exercise is going well. Especially the diet.

The weight is up a little, but not my body size, so I'm doing just fine. Normal fluctuations. Nothing to worry about.

Anyway, I'll attempt to write something meaningful tomorrow.

-Silas

Busy weekend?

At least I was busy last Friday. Sorry I didn't post.

Another half pound down - down to 248. That makes 19.5 total gone. This is a great thing.

Running is doing OK...turns out that the treadmill that I bought has had some problems with the electronic parts. For no apparent reason, right in the middle of running, it can lose track of the speed sensor and just stop. After calling them, they said that yes, they knew about this problem, and yes, they will fix it for free. It's all under warranty.

That's the good news. It makes me a bit nervous for the long term, but what can you do? I guess they had some problems with the first rev of the new electronics. Once they get them switched out, it should all work fine. We'll see how it goes.

I'm getting closer to the 5K this weekend. I think that I'm going to do it. It should be fun. Not anywhere NEAR my fast pace from before, but that doesn't matter. As long as I'm out there running, I'll be OK.

Food is going well. Over the weekend I "relaxed" a little, and stayed within points anyway. No pizza...and I was happy.

Have a great day,

-Silas

Woo!

Another half pound down. Making a total of 19.

I wasn't going to run yesterday. I woke up late and couldn't do it before work, and after work, I had way too much for dinner. Well, OK, it was within points, but the amount I ate would be like a rock in my gut for running.

It was pretty late, around 9:15 or so that I decided to do it anyway.

Turns out that 3 1/2 hours is enough time to wait for even a pretty large rock to go away.

I think that things like that are going to be why I end up losing the weight. It was another good three miles. It's great how I can just at any given point go for three miles now.

Work is interesting. While I wouldn't call the deadline unrealistic, it is certainly wildly optimistic. (See? I can be a team player!) There is so very much to do.

Which is why I'm not doing what I have seen at least two other co-workers do...watch the March Madness online. It's free, you know!

The audio, on the other hand...also free, and it leaves me able to work. It was either that or streaming the Jim Rome show online anyway.

So things are good. Have a great day!

-Silas

Day after day.

It's funny how soon things turn into a routine. In a good way, that is. Remember at the beginning of all of this in January, I would talk about how hard it was to go to a grocery store in the morning, with the bakery smells so strong? This morning it was not even an issue. It is not even something to be dignified as not an issue. Fruit. That's it.

I'm so happy with how things have become commonplace again. How my old habits are gone, and the new ones have taken their place without really missing a beat. I even did three miles last night, regardless of the fact that I wasn't feeling all that well.

It's a day by day kind of thing. I'm back to the comfortable stage of weight loss.

It's good to be back.

-Silas

Ah yes...the doctor.

It was a while ago - all the way to last Friday - that I went to the doctor. I forgot to post anything about the results.

Turns out it's just something that the doctor called "winter eczema." It will go away.

So it's officially nothing, and I can now run to my heart's content.

Speaking of that, time to get home and do a few miles.

-Silas

One step back, two steps forward.

Saturday was a hard day. Remember how I told you that I just can't have pizza? Well, Sara didn't really believe me until Saturday. I ate WAY too much. Good thing that I had a small breakfast and a small dinner - lunch was enormous.

Interesting, though, I technically stayed within points. Because I ran, and ate the exercise points.

But BOY did I run. While the pizza was a step back, there was another positive move on the running front. I was so irritated at myself for slipping that I did 5 miles on the treadmill. So not only did I undo SOME of the damamge that the pizza did, I felt great about doing it.

The interesting thing about running is that I sweat a lot. (You'd think so, wouldn't you?) It makes me lose water weight.

The result?

Yesterday I was down to 249.

Yes, I know this was in part artificial, but I'll take it :) I was back up a little today, but the great thing is that I know that it is temporary. I will fluctuate constantly day to day, but consistently, week after week, I'm going down.

It's funny how:

a) This is going a little slower than I had wanted, but
b) I don't care. I'm doing exactly as well as I NEED to do, and it is working.

In fact, it's turning more and more from an "I don't care" to an "I am loving this." Because even though it's slow, I'm happy with what I'm doing. The happier I can be with what I'm doing, the longer I can keep this up.

I joke a lot with Sara about this all being about that big-screen TV. But truthfully? This is all about me. Not in the narcissistic way, but in the "I'd like to be there when my grandkids are born" kind of way.

Anyway, it was a good weekend. I relaxed the eating a little yesterday, but only enough to use some of my flex points for the week. It's my own version of the "Free Day" from Bill Phillips. On Sundays (sometimes Saturdays) I will eat a little more. As long as I stay within my points + flex, I'm fine with that.

So enough logorrhea...time to work.

-Silas

Top of the mornin' to you!

When I got up this morning, it was more like the bottom of last night. But I am leaving work early, and there is WAY too much to get done to not come in early.

I've got the doctor's appointment at 3:00 today. I'm sure hoping that this guy will have a definitive answer on what is going on with my leg. Not that it's troubling me. I just hate the not knowing thing.

Just wanted to peek my head into the blog and let you all know I'm still here.

-Silas

Three miles = one pound?

No, not really. It's just that it seems to correlate sometimes. I did another three miles last night. I was going to wait until this morning, but when Sara asked if I was going to (trying to figure ou the plans for the night) I decided that I had really better do it.

It was a great thing. We stuck a movie in the DVD player and I just ran. It was still agonizingly slow, compared to what I used to do, but it was great. I love it. The treadmill is still doing great.

So this morning I'm down to 251.5. Another pound down. Total of 16.

I'm so stoked. It's still working. Not as fast as I like. But it is working.

-Silas

Am I really off track?

Probably not. Eating - going VERY well. Exercise? I'm getting into a procrastination habit. I probably should have run this morning, but for whatever reason I did not.

It's so bizarre - whenever I run, I love it. At about mile 2. I remember loving it more, being excited to start, but so far, not yet.

I think I'm going to take a little advice from myself. I remember talking about how all it takes is a couple of good weeks to get into a good habit. It took that long with food - it was literally hell for a couple of weeks to not eat the crap, but now, it's going really well. I love this eating healthy thing. While I am not losing as fast as I want, I am at least losing continuously.

As for the speed of losing...well, that will come with more exercise, right?

Anyway, I'm a little better from the "incident," but I am still not dealing with it. I'm at a standoff.

Have a great day,

-Silas

Sometimes you just have to throw your head back...

...and scream for a while.

I am not going to blog about this one - as I have no idea how to lock posts. Any blogger users out there want to give me a hand?

But there is something in my personal life that has be about fed up. I can't handle much more of it. Just for clarification - it has nothing to do with me, with my wife, or my kids. No rumor mongers out there. As if anyone would monger rumors about someone they don't know.

I WILL however, blog about my reaction.

Last night, after getting off of work and on the drive home, I kept going over and over a conversation in my head. I haven't been this distraught about something in a very long time - probably since the doctors told Sara and I that we wouldn't be having any more kids. I decided that I just plain couldn't deal with it.

I got home, and Sara had the house rather immaculate. While she works hard all the time, this is a rarity, as the twins (now over 4 years old) are living proof of the law of entropy - that everything exists naturally in a state of disorder. I was planning on taking out my frustrations on cleaning, but since that was done...

I went down to my basement to the unfinished room and for about an hour, I measured, sawed, and hammered. I got the rest of the framework done that I'm using to cover the ducting on the ceiling. It was very cathartic to just lose myself in a menial task, to immerse myself in not only labor, but USEFUL labor.

At the end, I got something done that I need to get done, and I was also able to come to a truce with what is going on. Not peace with it yet, not by far, but at least I can hold it at arm's length while I can rest from the emotional trauma, and then, when I'm more able to deal with it, I can take it and examine it.

For now, I'm doing fine. Still hanging in there at 252.5 pounds. Not going up, which is GREAT, and not going down, which is not that great. But I'm happy with it.

Have a great day,

-Silas

Nice little weekend.

A little relaxation, a little work on the unfinished room in the basement, and six miles on the treadmill since I last wrote.

Three of those miles were this morning. Yes, that's right. I ran in the morning. It's a good thing for me - it works out so very well for the rest of my day when I can get up and do it.

I am PAINFULLY slow right now for three miles. Yes, I'm going to do the 5K that I have done two years in a row now. I know that I won't be anywhere NEAR my PR, but I am going to do it.

This same 5K is something that I have to do for myself. I have to do this as a kind of "screw you" to being overweight and out of shape. For life.

I might have alluded to this last week, but it's interesting how out of shape I am, and then how out of shape I am not. Yes, I'm slow, but I'm taking into account the fact that last week I was having problems running over a half a mile at a time, and already I have done two three mile runs.

So it's great. Food is going well. Although the scale only shows a .5 pound loss. But down is down, no?

Also, I think that there may be something wrong with my scale. I got on the scale yesterday, and I had gone up two pounds since the day before, when I had done VERY well with food. So I got off and got back on. I was up another pound and a half. And then one more time, up another pound and a half.

It was interesting - there is NO WAY that I gained five pounds in a single day.

But it doesn't really matter. My clothes are all fitting better. I'm feeling great. The journey is going exactly as I want it to. It could be a LITTLE faster...but no matter what, I'm happy. I'm getting healthier, and I'm on the right track.

Have a great day,

-Silas

Happy Friday!

It's interesting how this weight loss thing is going. Last Friday I was down to 253. Two days later, I was up 3 pounds. Today, FINALLY, I am back down to 253. I'm hoping that I can get under that soon. I have to be VERY careful this weekend, and I think that I'll get there.

The leg bruise thing is starting to itch. I'm glad that I have an appointment next week. It's looking more and more like the quack knew what he was talking about. I will keep you posted, without gross details, hopefully.

Today I've already eaten 2/3 of my points. (It's just after noon.) But that's good - I'm not hungry, and probably won't be until tonight. I'm trying to eat more points earlier in the day, so that I don't have more points left at dinnertime than Sara gets all day long. For some reason that really irritates her...:)

But it's also better for the metabolism, I believe. You fast all night, so if you don't give your body calories in the morning (which is the biggest reason that I've started eating breakfast), it thinks it might be starving. I'm hoping that spreading calories out might help me.

Either way, though, I'm still firmly planted in the saddle, and heading down the right road. My pants are getting baggier. This is good. I don't quite fit into the next size down yet, but that will come soon. I'm hoping by my birthday.

Anyway, time to get going.

-Silas

Ready for a 5K?

No. Not in the slightest way. But I'm going to get there. Whether or not I'll do it on time is another question.

I did three miles last night. Only two of which were running, but it's up from the night before. I'm going to try to go the whole three miles running tonight. It's weird - I wasn't feeling up to getting on the treadmill last night. I really didn't want to do it. But at about mile 2, I was happy that I did. There's something very cathartic about running.

Anyway, things are going well, except that I have absolutely no time at all.

-Silas

Without sounding too much like Willie Nelson...

...I'm on the road again!

Yesterday I did 2.5 miles. Only half running, the other half walking rather quickly, but it's a start. How far have I come from the 5-7 mile runs at any given moment...

But I don't care. I haven't REALLY run in about a year now. Yes, I've done a little training here and there, but not regularly. I'm happy about this. Now that the doc has given me the go-ahead, I'm going ahead.

Enough that if I'm doing well enough by the end of the week, I'm signing up for the same 5K that I've done two years in a row now. (OK, last year I did the 10K, but it's the same run.) I know that I won't be fast, I just want to make sure that the running is going to happen.

I loved being in extrememly good shape. There was a time for a few months (during the height of my marathon training) that my resting heart rate was around 50. I could do ANYTHING. Any time I asked my body to do something, it did so, with gusto and excitement.

Now, it's back to the laziness. It's back to seriously huffing and puffing over half a mile at a time.

And yet...

After paying attention to my body signals yesterday, I felt a small spark. I felt my body telling me that although it was tired, it wasn't really having fun at this (I was! Really! It was my legs and lungs complaining!), it was asking me to continue. It's like it was telling me that it misses that healthiness as much as I do. It WANTS to do the running.

So...unlike in the past, I'm going to listen. Where this is going to lead, I don't know. For now, it's the 5K. Then, a 10K. After that...

On the long roadmap, I'm looking at the HALF marathon. I don't know if my knees are ever going to be able to do the marathon. Possibly, yes, but for now, I'm going to keep that one on the "cross that bridge when I get there" list.

So have a great day.

-Silas

Doctor Who?

No, not the show.

I went to see a doctor yesterday. It's interesting trying to find a doctor when your old one moves out of the state. I called the office where my old doc worked, and they told me that doctor so and so has taken all of his patients. And that it would be fine to see him.

I figured that's as good a way to find a new doc as any.

Turns out I was wrong.

Well, I guess the doctor was fine. He was rather knowledgeable about his business, which is what you really want #1 in a doctor. About my leg - he knew enough to know that it wasn't for him to diagnose. But more on that in a moment.

The reason that I didn't like him was his attitude toward my weight loss. Instead of realizing that I've made as many changes as I can feasibly make in any sort of time span, he told me that I had to "cut out all potatoes, all rice, all refined flour (including white bread), and all refined sugar, including sugary drinks." And cut my calories by 1/3. And that I had to "huff and puff for at least an hour a day most days."

1) I already know this. Should you ever REALLY eat donuts? Chocolate? Probably not. They are not really good for you. But I know myself enough to know that to never again eat even white bread or potatoes or rice is just not going to happen. I'm taking baby steps here, people. In fact, they are rather giant baby steps at times. And I know about the exercise.

2) More than asking me what I'm doing and then basically regurgitating what I had said back at him in a more unrealistic manner, it was his condescending manner that completely turned me off. I came to him asking about my shin so that I can go running again. I told him that up front. And then he goes on to berate me about not exercising.

Maybe I got used to being coddled or something, but I liked my old doctor who realized that I am making as many changes as I can, and that I'm so much healthier now than I was back at 336 pounds. Is it that this new doc missed the entire transformation, and now all he sees is a bit of a relapse? That's fine. Just don't expect me to like it.

Anyway, enough complaining about the doc. More on the leg.

So the problem with my shin is that there is a bumpy tender section. It was a bit like shin splints, but in the entirely wrong place. There is no muscle in this place - just skin over bone. The doc thinks it's a skin condition. Some sort of dermatitis or something. So for now he's referred me to a dermatologist. I'm going to call one this afternoon.

Remember when I told you that Sara is a sympathetic hypocondriac? Well, I used a word that the doc used when I was telling her about the visit. I should have know better - this word scared ME a little. He said that the dermatologist would take a biopsy of the problem spot to find out what it is. The problem is that the word biopsy on ER, Scrubs, and all of the other doctor shows is what they use when they are finding tumors. All it really means is that they take a little bit of tissue and find out what it is made of.

Anyway, things are good. I can start running again, as the shin thing has nothing to do with running. Which makes sense to me, as I used to run at this weight before. I'm going to see where this shin thing goes, but no matter what...

I'm back on the road. Or at least the treadmill.

-Silas

And one more.

So it's a total of 14.5 down now. I'm at 253! That 250 mark, a very psychological border, is getting closer and closer. Hopefully next week. If not, then the week after.

*whew*

Finally it's working again. Finally I have been able to shake off the bad crappy food again. This gives me hope for the rest of my life. I know that I won't be perfect forever. But it's good to know that even if (when?) I get way out of control, it is very possible to get right back under control.

I keep having visions of a 50" widescreen high-def TV. Think that helps out?

You betcha.

I finally have a doctor's appointment on Monday for my leg. Sara is freaking out a little, she is what I like to (affectionately!) call a sympathetic hypocondriac. She wonders if I'm about to die. OK, so that might be a SLIGHT exaggeration, but not by much.

It's just that this bruise should really have gone away by now. Of course, knowing my luck, it will have gone away by then, but one way or the other I'll know what is going on by the end of Monday. Hopefully.

Anyway, have a great day.

-Silas